dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
