ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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