Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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