Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
