I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
