R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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