Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
