Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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