she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
