He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Girls should come with a carfax report
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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