What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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