my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
