I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
