let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This baby is an asshole
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
