you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize