that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize