i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Will exercising make me less horny?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize