Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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