take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
