i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
