Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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