mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
