we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize