he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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