i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
