Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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