We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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