You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
