Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
