I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
