So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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