Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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