2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
