I CAN MOONWALK!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
