I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
