do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
