and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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