10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize