This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
