i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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