Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
