i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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