I will die if light touches me.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
