Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT