If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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