It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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