You're completely useless in the revolution.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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