i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
