so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
