my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
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I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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