If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
