it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
