the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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