Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
