Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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