My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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