yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
