i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
