I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
