but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
