Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
