At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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